I'm hoping today's post makes some sense, or at the very least more than the last post. I know some things for certain. I know eventually the 4 kids I currently have will grow up, go to college and eventually leave home! Hurray! I know I love my husband and kids more than all the stars in the sky or grains of sand on the beach! I also know I want another child!
I have faith that if it's God's will, it will happen.
I also realize that the addition of another child could possibly bring some major issues into our house that we haven't had to deal with before. This scares me into a fetal, thumb-sucking position. This is where I begin to lose my faith.I believe God does have a master plan and if it happens, it is what it is and you deal with it.
In searching for signs, I've gotten a couple that I think lead me to think a 5th child is God's plan. The most recent sign was an email from Vivian (adoption social worker extrodinaire and friend) that said we would be able to work directly with her and Chances for Children and not have to choose a coordinating adoption agency. This saves some serious pocket change!
The most significant sign is one I still can not divulge to the other two people that read this blog. It has to deal with dear friends possibly taking on a huge and wonderful, life-changing responsibility that very well could benefit us in this 5th child endeavor. I know it sounds confusing, but trust me. This is a wonderful thing for all of us involved!!
The road before me is still a little twisty and turny, but I might be seeing the individual bricks on the road a little more clearly.
Faith is in my heart and head. Now to make that ultimate leap of faith.
To leap and follow your heart when your head is telling you be logical.
In matters of love, is logic ever relevant?
There are scars, still. Even within the miracles.
3 months ago