Samuel Jerome and Richnightder

Samuel Jerome and Richnightder
Our boys in Haiti

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Another damn funeral

Last November, I was asked if I would join our funeral committee at church.  Pastor Paul assured me that it involved one or two funerals a year in which I would have to bring some type of dessert and help prepare the meal, serve and clean up.  No biggie I thought, I could easily handle that.  I should have known that nothing in my life ever, EVER goes as planned.

Starting in December, our church, our itty-bitty, little tiny Lutheran church has had 12 funerals as of today.  My ass is whipped.  The kids have served and partaken of so many funerals now that they think of them as some odd social gathering.  Another home schooling mom is the head of the funeral committee and we refer to ourselves as the "Thursday afternoon social club."  Sick, I know!  A funeral or two ago as the family of the dearly departed was gathering downstairs near the kitchen before the funeral, Jerome very loudly announced that "There sure are a lot of customer's here today."  See, we've all been desensitized to death. 

Death,'s no biggie any more to the kids.  They know that they get the pick of the desserts before the 'customers' get to and when their chores there are done, they get to play with all the new kids that have shown up for the big soiree. 

It's weird though that having the only 4 black kids for miles around, people I've never met or heard of seem to know us.  Case in point today.  I was standing with Richnigthder in the kitchen when a woman I've never seen before asked me if he (Richnightder) was one of the Laurie kids?  I told her this was one of my sons and she looked surprised.  Whatever.  I just think its weird that some old broad knew my kids, their last name and had no idea who in the hell I was. 

I suppose I shouldn't be so damn bitter about having to serve my church community again...on a rare, beautifully sunny and warm day.....but for Christ's sake, people need to stop dying because it's putting a serious crimp in my plans.  It's not like I don't give or do for my church.  Hell, I do A LOT for our church.  I was elected to church council and part of those duties require me to serve the Blood of Christ and count the haul...I mean the council rep to the educational committee, a small group leader for 2nd year confirmation, reader, greeter, altar guild and other assorted odd jobs that no one else seems to want!  All of this from a girl raised as a cradle Catholic now turned happy Lutheran.

Does anyone else who knows me find it belly-laughing funny that I get to do Eucharistic duties?  Whenever I hold those chalices with the wine and grape juice, I'm afraid it's going to sizzle and God's voice will come down from the sky and tell everyone to "Move to the other line.  The line without the foul-mouthed, formerly slutty Catholic girl holding the Blood of Christ."  All I know is that the Lutheran's either have really low standards or since everybodies dying, my qualifying skills were the ability to stand erect and fog up a mirror.  We all have talents.  Mine must be providing comic relief for God on Sunday mornings.


Kristi said...

I just snorted so loud when I read what Jerome said about all the 'customers'!!! OMG! Too funny!

Tifanni said...

Maybe you should quit putting cyanide in the kool-aid. Just a thought :) Seriously, I totally get you on random strangers knowing you because of your children. It drives me nuts!

Mama Drama Times Two said...

You totally crack me up! Your church is soooo lucky to have you fogging up the mirrors and keeping the "customers" satisfied!

Kelley said...

You are too funny! I'm Lutheran too and we have mostly older people at my church. My parents have always been SUPER involved and now that they are getting older and so are all the other core group - I'm realizing I'm going to have to start stepping up more. Lutherans sure like to eat don't they :) I've been going to the same church since I was 2 - some of them have known me that long :) Everyone knows all my business.
I miss your smile girl! You have the BEST smile - how it lights up your whole face :)

Erin Walsh said...

The line without the foul-mouthed, formerly slutty Catholic girl holding the Blood of Christ

HA! The only thing that has made me laugh today. Awesome.

love you.

Natalie Norman said...

OMG I am dying- oh wait, not really. I knew it was going to be a good post when it started with "Another damn funeral." Do people from church read your blog?!?! Do you get disapproving looks across the pews?
LMAO this morning.