Samuel Jerome and Richnightder

Samuel Jerome and Richnightder
Our boys in Haiti

Sunday, October 5, 2014

You know what's really interesting?

Some things defy logic.  Well, actually lots of things  do.  What I can't wrap my head around is why some one for the itty bitty North Dakota town of Wilton keeps visiting my blog.

Why on earth would someone from that ink-spot-on-a-map kind of town keep visiting my blog? 

Friday, September 26, 2014

a life that hung on a trigger

I can't share too much detail, or maybe any at all, but Marc came home the other day with a story to tell.  Our perception of how the incident played out is tainted especially in light of the recent police officer shooting in South Carolina.

Suffice it to say, Marc was on the scene of some search warrants being executed by his agency as well as several other agencies.  He was in his work vehicle which looks like every single other GMC you see on TV shows being driven by a fed.  The next thing he knows he had a large semi automatic weapon pointed at his face.  He identified himself and showed his badge and credentials and the day proceeded as normal.  He could have been killed by friendly fire in the blink of an eye.

We both wonder, without casting any prejudicial thoughts towards the other agent, if the outcome would have been the same had Marc been a black or Hispanic man?  Would they had given Marc the nano second to identify himself and produce his badge?  I am not blaming the other agent for his actions.....I have not nor will I be able to walk in his shoes.....but I do know that I was happy at that moment that Marc knew enough to only respond verbally and not make a movement.  What if Marc had been a black man?  Would he have been given the benefit of the doubt?

I am a mother to 3 young black men.  I worry especially for my 16 year old.  I worry if he wears a hoody into a store.  No one should have that fear.  Sadly it stays in my gut where I tell him to take the hoody off when in a store or in a crowd.  I hate living with doubt that someone will treat my boys fairly.  This should not be a fear of any parent in our country today.

I said something disgusting and vile yesterday.  When Marc told me about his encounter, I said, "Thank God you're white." I meant it!  It may, or may not have been what kept the other agent's finger from pulling the trigger.  I don't know the other agent.  I can't judge him or any prejudice he may have.  All I know is that Marc was at the other end of the gun and his life hung in the balance of his reactions and those of the man with his finger on the trigger.

I hate being afraid for my black boys to be out and about in this world without me, their white mom, there to mitigate any possible problems.  How can I simultaneously teach them to be proud of being themselves while teaching them how to behave if they encounter bigotry or police questioning?  I hate, hate, being afraid for them.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

High Gear, warp speed, and overdrive!

You know what?  I still cringe when people mention North Dakota.  I'm not sure if that reaction will ever leave any of us.  If your getting tired of hearing about it, rest assured we are tired of feeling this way.

I don't know if we'll ever fully put behind us the feeling of betrayal we felt when our  pastor turned his back on the racism our kids were experiencing at church and in the parsonage.  He heard our kids called the N word and yet he never, ever dealt with this.  Because of this we have yet to be able to return to a church....any church.

However this situation caused us to have a profound effect on our faith.  We know for certain that God looked out for us and got us away those who pretend to be one thing, yet quietly lack ANY moral backbone. 

In fact North Dakota is so negative to us that when we traveled out to Missoula to visit our friends in March, we drove the longer route and went across South Dakota and Wyoming solely to avoid having to set foot in N.D.  But we have all become stronger due to others' bigotry. 

We had a brief get-together with some of our Renegade friends in Montana and got to meet the newest Renegade.  He's a delightful, happy little baby and I'm so glad I got to smoosh on him when he was just an itty bitty newborn.  The kids had a rockin' good time as usual together and the grown ups learned how to drink banned beverages in Styrofoam coffee cups.....just to stay sane while supervising our kids at the Tribal YMCA. 

April came and went and saw Madison turn 17!  We now have 2 college visits scheduled; one at Grinnell College in 2 weeks and one at San Jose State University next month.  She also has Middlebury College and Sweet Briar College in the line up and somewhere down the list....Oregon State and Portland State.  She wants to double major in International Relations and Arabic with a minor in Spanish. Her career goals remain set on the CIA and I firmly believe this kid can do it.

Marc continues to love his DEA office here and enjoys that its a much larger office than the one in Bismarck.  He's busy, but being the boss allows him to be home with more consistency.  YEAH!

Richnigthder has made the travelling baseball team and the practices have already started.  It will be a very busy summer with his schedule alone.  Jerome remains happy...happy....happy!  He's doing a summer day camp for a couple weeks and is really excited about it.  Thomas is 6 months out now from his complete knee reconstruction surgery and you can't tell that he had a huge surgery.  Now we wait until next fall to have the other knee done.  He wants the summer to tear it up on his motorcycle....and I suppose have time to continue wrecking the bum knee even more.  As for me, I don't have any time for myself.  I am constantly on the move keeping kids in check.

I did squeeze in a quick trip to Oregon with the little boys.  They had never been there and had a great time with my 3 sisters, nieces and nephews.  We went to a psychic and Tarot Card reader and that was a blast and shockingly dead on the money accurate.  My sister Kathleen and her husband, Art just took a transfer to Little Rock and I am SO excited since it is the first time in 10 years that I have had family closer than 1500 miles.  For us it will be a straight shot down  I-35 and I can't wait to spend a holiday with them.

Now I'm off to order Madison's cheerleading outfit.  Yep.  In addition to Dressage, Speech Team, and
writing for the school paper, she's made the Varsity Cheerleader team.  Good God this house is in high gear and constantly moving.  And secretly, I love it!