I can't explain it. I really can't. Everything seems to be going alright in our life right now. Madison is growing up and maturing. Her riding is taking off as is the price tag to keep her in dressage/jumper riding! Thomas is doing nicely in school and makes me smile when I see him help other's out without prompting. Of course his generosity is usually extended to those that do not reside with us, but nonetheless, his kind heart is lovely. Richnigthder is so smart, so capable and so athletic and sooooo stubborn. Jerome is, well, Jerome. Just a happy little guy who jumps for joy when I tell him we're having chicken and rice for dinner.
So what in the hell is making me feel like adding another child to our family? Why in the hell am I contemplating this when everything seems to be fine? I don't know if I can articulate it other than to say I feel there is space in my heart for another addition. Space for a young girl to round out our family. Perhaps I am crazy, or perhaps I like tempting fate. I don't know for sure, but it is something seriously in my heart and head right now.
Next Tuesday Vivian, our remarkable adoption social-worker and dear friend will give me a jingle to discuss some ideas she has for our family. Hmmmm, I wonder what in the hell that means? All I can tell you is that something is nagging my heart and telling me I have too much to share to keep it just to myself. Besides, Madison thinks it would be nice to have a little sister to boss around and 'make' her clean her pigsty of a bedroom. Maybe I haven't done such a great job afterall!
There are scars, still. Even within the miracles.
4 months ago