Just got off the phone with Vivian and found out that our files have been in USCIS since last Thursday. This is great news and one that gives me butterflies in my stomach. I have so much left to do; more shopping, more shopping, more shopping. But I will end this post as I have ended so many others, "As usual, the wait continues."
Before our next blizzard hits tomorrow, we thought we would head into town and do a little more shopping and let the kids have some fun at Space Aliens...a kind of Chuck E. Cheese but with an alien twist. The food is just so-so, but the nice thing is that after the kids shove the food down their throats, Marc and I can sit in relative peace and talk while the kids rapidly spend $40 in tokens. After that black hole of a money pit restaurant, we headed out to do a little shopping for the new boys.
Now before I proceed with the story I must add, that yesterday I took Madison shopping and spent $438 on her at Old Navy and then, at her request, bought her the matching pink luggage set she requested. The kid is not neglected in any way, shape or form, and yet driving home today the flood gates of tears opened up and the emotions came pouring out. She expressed through tears that she is afraid that with the new boys home, she will be forgotten. We tried to calmly reassure her that as our only daughter, our first born, she could never be forgotten, but I have a feeling our words wafted on the air around her and never paused in her brain. She is afraid of the transition this will have on the family and I have a very good idea that this will not be the last time Madison, or Thomas, have breakdowns of their own over the adjustment and restructuring of the family.
Marc and I have already committed to Madison that we will do all the grunt work that is required as she campaigns to win a coveted spot as a Miss Mandan Rodeo Princess. Of course that all gears up in May, so either Marc or I will have a lot of one-on-one time with Madison as we traverse the countryside horse, and trailer in tow. This is in addition to her Quarter Horse shows where she is a youth reiner. I am getting a headache just thinking about the costs and miles to be driven this summer.
I anticipate our files entering USCIS this week or next and know that the kids are as anxious and nervous as we are to get the family under one roof and see how we all fit together. As always, the wait continues.
It is beginning to feel real. Both boys now have passports and our files should go into USCIS in about a week. Our email came with a rough timeline and I am shaking when I let myself realize that my boys may actually be home, here, sleeping in their long empty beds in a matter of weeks!! Flood and blizzard be damned, this is a great day.
We haven't heard any news from Haiti since March 3rd when we finally heard that Jerome was out of MOI. Oops, we actually did hear that Richnightder did have his passport issued, but that news is a couple weeks old now too. So back to what I was saying, that we haven't gotten any new information since Vivian got back from the creche last Friday.
Throughout this long ordeal of an adoption, I had always believed that once our files were out of Haitian hands and into USCIS and the embassy, that it would move effficiently and quickly. I am beginning to have some serious doubts about that belief. I have these nagging fears that for some reason, USCIS will deny our boys their approval to immigrate and my world will come crashing down. I am hoping that these feelings I am having are just lingering shadows of fear that something will cause this adoption to not come to fruition.
Honestly, I have been having some really weird dreams lately and I can only chalk them up to my ever-present adoption worries. Last night I dreampt that I was a baby bird and that my mommy bird would not regurgitate in my mouth and I was sleepy and hungry. Yeah, I know, what would Freud have to say about that messed up dream and its underlying meanings? And then every once in awhile I get all panicky thinking about when the boys are actually home. I worry if I will do and be what they need in life and understand just how much they are loved. I worry about them transitioning to home and feeling comfortable; comfortable enough to have melt-downs and comfortable enough to show me their saddness and mourning about the loss of everything they have ever known in life before. Then as soon as I calm myself down, I go right back to worry about when the adoption will ever be finished. Maybe I am losing it. Or maybe I am just exhausted from living in a suspended state of animation for the last two years. The days turn into weeks, then months, and now years and still my boys are not home in my arms.
I have eaten my weight in chocolate Easter candy and if only the sun would come out and shine, I just might be in a slightly more upbeat mood. I am beginning to think that my mantra will always be, "As usual, the wait continues."
I had to run to the store today and get some essentials after being sick for exactly 7 days and being snowed in the past 3. I gleefully left the kids at home and drove into town by myself listening to my music on the radio and didn't have to listen to arguing children.
First stop was McDonald's where I shoved a #3 with a diet coke down my throat and then delighted in eating in peace in the Super Walmart parking lot. The sights you see when people-watching is always amazing to me. I sat in the car listening to 80's on 8 XM and enjoyed the hot salty fries immensly. But I really enjoyed watching people enter and exit the liquor store. Mind you, it is 4 degrees above zero today and we have another fresh 4 inches of snow so the parking lot is still snow covered. I watched a man who appeared to be very financially strapped, guessing by the 25+ year old pick up truck he darn near pushed into the parking lot and the less than clean clothes he had on.
In addition to his vehicle looking sick, he was just about dragging a leg and seemed to need the cart to lean on just to stand upright. Out he comes from the liquour store with an overflowing cart of Michelob Lite beer. He struggles, nearly falling once to push this burden all the way to his rickety pickup and then I watch him do the dumbest thing I have ever seen. He put his numerous cases of beer in the bed of the pick up, where it will inevitably freeze and put his two 20# bags of ice in the front seat of his truck. I wanted to get out and tell him what a moron he was, but felt it would fall on deaf ears. I just hope he drove quickly to wherever he was headed so the beer didn't freeze and the ice didn't melt. What a moron, but excellent entertainment. Walmart always comes thru in the entertainment arena.
I realize that Jerome has just gone into passport printing, but Richnightder has been there now since February, 10th and I am hoping every single day that a miracle will occur and both boys will get their passports together. Yeah, right. I need to quit having delusional fantasies, but it sure would be nice to get all of our documents into U.S. hands....well, maybe not.
A girl can dream can't she? I keep thinking that once our files enter USCIS, things will speed up for us. We haven't caught a break at any step in this whole process and it sure would be nice to have one near the end. To give everyone a run-down of what our wait has been like, here is the whole ugly story: Began adoption paperwork................. February 2007 matched with Richnightder and Jerome......................May 2007 entered IBESR...........................Sept. 28, 2007 visited boys.................................December 2007 Exited IBESR.............................June 2008 entered Parquet..........................June, 2008 visit boys again............................June, 2008 Exit Parquet..............................August 2008 Enter 2nd Legal.......................August 2008 Exit 2nd Legal..........................October 2008 Enter MOI................................October 23, 2008 Exit MOI..................................February 6,2009; Richnightder February 27, 2009; Jerome Now the wait continues in Passport printing. USCIS Visa Travel Hard to believe that it has been two years since we started this. I was a much less neurotic woman then, and probably a little less OCD about checking email every nano second. As always, the wait continues.
Vivian phoned Marc today and shared the news that Jerome is out of MOI as of February 27 and is now in passport printing along with Richnightder. Now the wait begins to see how long our files will remain in the passport office. Finally, some movement.
This morning, feeling very reverent and religiousy, I decided to look up what my old Catholic Missile had to say about today, the first tuesday of lent. I flipped the book open, and it was to a page dedicated to St. Jerome, who I learned is the patron saint of orphans and abandoned children. Now having grown up Catholic, this really made me feel like there is something to this. I guess now after learning about St. Jerome, I will always feel like he has had a guardian angel looking out for him since the moment of his birth and thru his terrible years at the first orphanage.