Samuel Jerome and Richnightder

Samuel Jerome and Richnightder
Our boys in Haiti

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

This post carries a disclaimer

I need to begin with a disclaimer that this is not a pity party. I am also not angling for tangible items/gifts as my kids lack for nothing, but the question has bothered me since the birth of our daughter 12 years ago.

I have debated posting this for a long time, but it has nagged at me since Richnigthder and Jerome came home on April 30th. When Madison and Thomas were born, NO ONE offered a baby shower for our new bundles of joy. Not my mom, sisters, friends, NO ONE. Please don't get me wrong; my kids had everything they needed tangibly and intangibly provided by Marc and me, but why did no one acknowledge their arrivals as if I had given birth??? Fast forward 12 years to Richnigthder and Jerome's arrival and only one family acknowledged their presence in our family with a card and gift. That family has no idea just how much their card and gifts meant to us. Someday soon I will tell them. No friends, no neighbors, no sisters, no brothers, no grown neices or nephews, no MIL or FIL.........only one family thought enough of us and our two little boys to acknowledge their addition to our family. This makes my heart ache. I feel as if their arrival is as inconsequential as if I had bought a new pair of shoes. Hell, my dog died 6 weeks ago and I received a half-dozen sympathy cards.

So this is my question. Is it because they are adopted? Is it Marc and/or me that no one likes and fails to recognize our two little boys as snubs to us? Is it apathy on everyone's part that it is just no big deal? I really don't know so I am seeking answers. Our adoption journey has been a very public journey, both to those close to us; i.e. friends and family, and also known to those who have stumbled upon our adventure through the blogging world. I realize the world is a busy place and we all have obligations tugging on us, but why on earth have those I love and sacrificed for, failed to acknowledge my precious children.

I want the world to know that just because all 4 of my children came to us through adoption, they should not be perceived any differently than if they had grown in my uterus. I thank God for my children, their health, and the things we have been fortunate enough in life to amass. Is it just me, or is it because they are adopted? What could be the reasons for the lack of even a Hallmark card to celebrate a new family member?

I am jealous when I hear of birth mom's or adoptive mom's having baby showers. Thank God I have never needed the possessions that are 'showered' on the mom's, but it sure stings that no one cares enough to send a card. This is an open invitation to all readers to leave their thoughts as to my questions? My heart aches for my kids who are blissfully unaware of my stings. I need other people's insights and thoughts. Remember this is not a pity party for myself, but a public sharing of some raw feelings and a need for answers.

Friday, June 19, 2009

It's a glamorous life

Madison took this photo flying into PaP. She said it looks
like the Geico money eyeballs from the commercial.

I went and got my hair cut and colored last evening. Big whoop, right. Well as I was leaving, Jerome came running after me as I was backing out of the garage. I stopped, rolled the window down and he jumped up to give me a kiss and a hug. He kept yelling to me as I was trying to drive away, so I stopped again, put the window back down, and shouted "what?" He loudly replied with appropriate hand gestures, "Go!"

When I got to the salon, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror before the cape was put on. Seems that when Jerome hugged me, he had toothpaste all over himself, which had been instantly transferred to my shirt. It was under my left arm and all over the left side of my boob. At least I smelled minty fresh.

In other not-so-glmaorous life events, I cannot understand why Rich and Jerome still feel compelled to inform me every single time they need to go potty. Drives me crazy. For God's sake, just go! I am also peeved by the fact that both boys constantly question me about the content and/or name of hot dogs. It's gross, I believe they are better off not knowing, but everytime I tell them that they are NOT made of dogs. Rich informed me that he DOES NOT like goat meat. This is good as our neighbor has about 10 dwarf fainting goats and they might just keel over if the boys ran at them with large knives.

I think Rich might just be a little Felix Unger like. Everytime he sees the dog go potty in the yard, he runs to tell me that also. I think he is trying to tell me to clean it up immediately. Jerome sings to himself, but loudly, when he is on the potty. Rich has told me it is a church song. Guess he talks to God when he is alone! Rich asked me to iron his t-shirt the other day and I obliged. He has to realize that this will not become a habit. That is just too type A for me. Jerome put his dirty, mud soaked socks away in his drawer with all his clean socks and undies. Hmmm, guess I have a little more to wash now.

THese kids have adjusted and settled in remarkably well. Their baptism this Sunday at church should be a riot. I know Jerome loves being the center of attention, but Rich hates having people notice him, especially if he is uncertain of what he is to do. I am hoping to get through this ceremony without any wildly embarassing moments. It should only be about 10 minutes, but man will I be sweating it out. Afterwards, we are having a small gathering back at our house and my new friend who lived in Port-au-Prince for the last 15 years will be here with her two boys. It will be fun to hear them speak Creole to others....and then have Lauri tell me what the hell they are saying.

Monday, June 15, 2009

The boy's first official gig

Having grown up a cradle Catholic and now a practicing Lutheran, I feel this over-whelming sense of urgency to have the boys baptized. As most everyone who knows me is aware, I am not a very religious/preachy person, but I do hold fairly tightly to my beliefs. It is obvious that the boys attended a Catholic church in TiMache since they know how to bless themselves and respond at the appropriate times in church. So, on Sunday, June 21st, Father's Day, the boys are being baptized. Our Godparent's are Mike and Tifanni and since we didn't expect them to drive 10 hours to be present at the baptism, we are having our dear friend Jan stand in as proxy. I wish they were here because we are going to have a fun get together afterwards and some adult beverages. YUMM

Pictures to follow.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

cute crossing dressing pictures.

No pictures, no comment!

Does everyone see Urkel too??

Madison is the queen dominatrix. She is bossy and demanding and somehow always seems to be able to get everyone to do exactly what she wants. This did not end with Jerome and Richnigthder arriving home. She has now continued in her trend of having the little boys do exactly what she wants, hence the cross-dressing photos of Jerome. I am sure she also told him to look and act like he was really lovin' it. Maybe he actually did?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

We are boring people

Nothing exciting to share. The boys have settled in. Madison and Thomas continue to adjust to having to share us, and Marc is completely back at work and I am doing all by myself. The first day he went back to work, I was actually scared to be fully in charge with all 4 kids by myself. But just like having a newborn, I realized I could do it and life is now plugging along in a nice rythm.

I have attached a couple pics of Jerome eating spaghetti which he adores and Richnigthder helping me make peanut butter cookies. He loves to bake. Maybe a Rachel Ray in the making?!