The other day, I had to take the kids into town for school pictures. All the homeschool kids were meeting at a photographers studio for this and we expected to see some of our new friends. The kids and I were one of the first people there and as I was filling out the form and choosing which package to buy, when another homeschool family walked in behind us.
What was said next mortified me. The other family happens to be of maybe east Indian or African descent. Anyhow, that is beside the point. They happen to have skin the color of Thomas and three beautiful kids. So Thomas blurts out loudly, "Hey Mom, look at what just walked in." As I turned around and saw this family I wanted to crawl under a rock and drink some arsenic, I was so embarrased. I mean at that point what could I say that would make it look like we aren't biggots. I guess it was a little helpful that my kids are black but it showed a tremendous amount of, shall we say, insensitivity. I acknowledged Thomas by saying "Yes, those are our new friends." Thomas then went on to talk to the kids and play with them. The mom is very nice and said nothing of the comment....Thank God.
But what would make my black son, say something like that? I asked him why he had said that when we had left and he told me he was happy to see other kids with the same color skin as his. WHEW, good to know, but I tried to explain how that comment maybe hurt by calling attention to them and by saying "what" just walked in instead of saying, "who." These are the times I want to put a sign on Thomas that reads, " I have a language processing disorder." It would be nice if everyone knew he interprets things differently and explains them unusually.
The joys of having minority children in a predominately white community!! Excitement at seeing "familiar" faces makes them giddy and the stupid stuff that comes out of their mouths' will surely make me want to run and hide. For all my dear friends about to embark on this new trans-racial adoption journey; get prepared, hang on and be prepared to be mortified by the things that our open and accepting children may say. EGADS!!
There are scars, still. Even within the miracles.
3 months ago