Samuel Jerome and Richnightder

Samuel Jerome and Richnightder
Our boys in Haiti

Sunday, January 25, 2009

I am not a nice person today

I have nothing good to say today about anything. I am angry, depressed, morose, lethargic, melancholy, blue, and reclusive. I hate myself for feeling this way when it is a beautifully sunny day, albeit, downright cold. Nonetheless, it is a day that I should be enjoying by any means possible.

Yesterday I was so blue about our extended stay in MOI that Marc and I went shopping for Richnightder and Jerome. We bought lots and lots of clothes, more bedding, more cute wall decorations and finally bought some booster seats for the car. I almost feel like shopping for the boys at this stage of the game is putting a hex on the adoption. Everytime I buy things, a setback usually follows. Yes, I am superstitious, but I almost have to be having grown up in my Irish Catholic family. Right now, I am without faith, hope, and just feel like everytime we take a step forward, we ended having the rug pulled out from under us and go back 4 steps. What I really need now is an MOI exit and to believe that my boys will come home. It was 2 years ago that Marc and I sent in the first paperwork of our dossier to Heritage. 2 flippin' years!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My boys were 4 years old when we first saw their pictures and fell in love. In two weeks, Jerome will turn 6 and my "babies" will officially both be grade-schoolers.

I am at a loss of how to drag myself out of this self-imposed melancholy. Shopping yesterday didn't even do it. I know I am REALLY down when shopping doesn't help. Then again, we don't have a Nordstrom here so buying nice shoes or purses was not an option. My sister was depressed and went out and bought herself a nice little Louis Vuitton handbag. She said it made her feel much better. Maybe I will have to try that too, but of course to do that I will have to drive to Minneapolis which is a 7 hour drive. See, no matter what, everything today has a dark lining to it. Where is the silver lining in all of this. I guess I will just have to wait and see.


Tifanni said...

I'm so sorry your feeling rotten. Hang in there, and maybe you can go find a great Kathy Smith handbag at K-mart

Don't forget to take out the rollers before you go :)

Walsh Family said...

I'm sorry you're feeling poopy. Can I ask two questions? 1) what is this dreadful MOI place and 2) sister? purse? what? (that was three questions in one so it only counts as one.

AprilC said...

Geralyn...I am wishing, praying and hoping you out of MOI this week.

Kathleen said...

So were you able to shake off the funk? Were you able to answer Erin's questions (Art was a bit nervous when he read of the sister and the Louis fearing I'd done something he didn't want to know about) were you able to find a new bag at K-Mart? (heehee) And yes, I realize I need to do something to my facebook page but I'm just not that into the whole social networking thing, y'know?
Off to the gym -- Valerie is waiting for me with her 'I can't wait to hurt you' look.