What if?

For several months now, we've contemplated growing the family thru adoption again.  I contacted Vivian, AKA, Adoption Social Worker Extrodinaire, and she explained how to start the ball rolling again.  Then we moved adoption plans to the back burner while we continue to wait and see if Marc will be moved again.  In the beauty of his job, they have the privilege to move you in the blink of an eye.  The big Kahunas are debating whether or not to close smaller offices and move all the agents elsewhere.

Decipher the last word: elsewhere often means, the border of the U.S. and Mexico.  That translates to worrying about Marc and his safety, and ours too, if we move to a hotbed of criminal activity.  So we have been trying to wrap our minds around the possible move and come to grips with moving from a house we've put our own touches on and now consider home.  We like it here and really don't want to move again, but you have to do what you have to do.  So we cooled our jets on the adoption until we figured out where we might end up by the end of the year.

Yesterday I was reading Dixie's blog at God's Littlest Angels.  She wrote about some of the new kids she has admitted to her creche recently and two little girls caught my eye.  Dixie wrote that  two missionary aides brought the two girls to her creche from Beaumont, Jeremie because the father did not think he could care for the little girls since the mother recently died.  Jeremie is the province where Richnigthder was born and lived before coming to our creche.  One little girl is about 5 and named Shelley and the baby sister is about 8 months old.  Richnigthder had a little sister he called (phonetically....She-lov)  she would be about 5 years old now too.  I put the picture from Dixie's blog up on the screen and just let Richnightder take a look.  I said nothing, except if he knew her?  He beamed and told me he thought that was Shelove.  Of course, I have sent emails to Dixie and Vivian and am waiting to hear back.  If this is Richnigthder's little sisters, then we will do everything in our power to bring these girls home.

So, what if these are his biological sisters?  It means his birthmother has died, just like Thomas' which I blogged about last week.  This stuff is far too complicated for a little tiny brain like mine.  A part of me hopes these are his little sisters and a part of me hopes they are not.  The part of me that feels relief if they aren't related feels tugged to bring them home anyway.  So many kids need homes.  What if no one ever brought these babies home?  What if I'm not on the right path in life and doing all I can to help the orphans of the world, particularly Haiti? 

What if, what if, what if?