I follow several blogs and frequently they post about really important issues suchas, attachment disorders in our adopted children, the on-going crisis in Haiti, the daily struggles of raising a child with Down's Syndrome, etc. I however, seem to post nothing but drivel. Pure, unadulterated, drivel.....mind numbing who-ha, blah, blah, blah!
I have come to realize that my world, my entire life actually, does in fact revolve around my children. 99.5% of the time I am fine with that. BUT, there are times I would love to have grown-up things to chat about with other people. Seems these days that if whomever I am speaking with does not have kids about my kids' age then I have a total inability to relate to their daily world. My entire repretoire of conversations usually involves discussions about homework, snotty attitudes, bed-wetting, pee everywhere BUT in the toilet, appropriate language, foot-stomping, door slamming teenager, blah, blah, blah!
What if I have the chance to speak to someone who lives 'out there...in the real world' with grown-ups? What if I find I have the inability to form a coherent thought that doesn't require me to yell at somebody to 'knock it off'? It came as quite a shock to me when I realized that I have not had outside employment for 20 years. Would I be able to hack it in the real world?
Don't get me wrong. I actually believe that my days are WAY harder than a lot of people's days who spend them with grown ups, in an office, but I wonder if I am capable of still be taken seriously by non-SUV driving mom's. I feel in my element amongst my motherly peers. I feel comfortable with hearing friends yell at their kids to "Put that shovel down and stop chasing your brother." I feel comfortable knowing that other mom's get the frustration of my day when I have 4 sick kids, a crap hole of a house, and no clue what to make for dinner. I like my comrades in the trenches who understand my pain of having 4 kids all pissed off at me when I change plans because I have a migraine. The list is endless, but I like my friends who are in the trenches with me dealing day in and day out with kids who don't care what headaches they cause us, as long as we have the ability to drive them around and have a functioning credit card.
Life is scary out there among them grown-ups! I prefer to hang with my 'mom' friends who get me and don't run away just because my kids are screaming and I'm a stuttering fool. I like my simple pleasures of running into friends at Walmart and talking for an hour while our kids make total nuisances of themselves. It really is the small things in life that make me smile and appreciate the simple pleasures. Who would have thunk it, that chatting with friends at the store....Walmart no less....could make me smile and count my blessings.
There are scars, still. Even within the miracles.
4 months ago