I need to begin with a disclaimer that this is not a pity party. I am also not angling for tangible items/gifts as my kids lack for nothing, but the question has bothered me since the birth of our daughter 12 years ago.
I have debated posting this for a long time, but it has nagged at me since Richnigthder and Jerome came home on April 30th. When Madison and Thomas were born, NO ONE offered a baby shower for our new bundles of joy. Not my mom, sisters, friends, NO ONE. Please don't get me wrong; my kids had everything they needed tangibly and intangibly provided by Marc and me, but why did no one acknowledge their arrivals as if I had given birth??? Fast forward 12 years to Richnigthder and Jerome's arrival and only one family acknowledged their presence in our family with a card and gift. That family has no idea just how much their card and gifts meant to us. Someday soon I will tell them. No friends, no neighbors, no sisters, no brothers, no grown neices or nephews, no MIL or FIL.........only one family thought enough of us and our two little boys to acknowledge their addition to our family. This makes my heart ache. I feel as if their arrival is as inconsequential as if I had bought a new pair of shoes. Hell, my dog died 6 weeks ago and I received a half-dozen sympathy cards.
So this is my question. Is it because they are adopted? Is it Marc and/or me that no one likes and fails to recognize our two little boys as snubs to us? Is it apathy on everyone's part that it is just no big deal? I really don't know so I am seeking answers. Our adoption journey has been a very public journey, both to those close to us; i.e. friends and family, and also known to those who have stumbled upon our adventure through the blogging world. I realize the world is a busy place and we all have obligations tugging on us, but why on earth have those I love and sacrificed for, failed to acknowledge my precious children.
I want the world to know that just because all 4 of my children came to us through adoption, they should not be perceived any differently than if they had grown in my uterus. I thank God for my children, their health, and the things we have been fortunate enough in life to amass. Is it just me, or is it because they are adopted? What could be the reasons for the lack of even a Hallmark card to celebrate a new family member?
I am jealous when I hear of birth mom's or adoptive mom's having baby showers. Thank God I have never needed the possessions that are 'showered' on the mom's, but it sure stings that no one cares enough to send a card. This is an open invitation to all readers to leave their thoughts as to my questions? My heart aches for my kids who are blissfully unaware of my stings. I need other people's insights and thoughts. Remember this is not a pity party for myself, but a public sharing of some raw feelings and a need for answers.
There are scars, still. Even within the miracles.
4 months ago