Samuel Jerome and Richnightder

Samuel Jerome and Richnightder
Our boys in Haiti

Monday, April 27, 2009

Odds and ends before gotcha day

We leave tomorrow for Minneapolis where we fly to Miami on Wednesday. I had a few last
minute items to pick up for our trip and thought since I was out and about, I might as well look for a new bra or two. Bra shopping and swimsuit shopping are the worst things I can imagine doing. Even though I think I know what size bra I need, everytime I end up buying new bras it is always a new size, usually larger. I have a completly flat ass and huge boobs. Seems my grandmother had tremendous boobies, which skipped my mom and went straight to my oldest sister, one of my neices and myself. I figure if I keep gaining weight in my boobs, someday soon I will be a weeble and just fall face first down to the ground and gravity will keep me there.

I just spent more time lamenting bra shopping than I intended, but I think it is universal among women that bra shopping is a painful, psychologically scarring event. No woman I know hops out of bed thinking it is a great day, since they get to go bra and/ or swimsuit shopping. True story. Many years ago, probably about 10 years when my body was still thin and my boobs had some self elevation, I went swimsuit shopping. I chose some tankini's that looked decent at least on the hangar and went into the dressing room. God knows I kept my panties on as who knows may have tried it on before me and I certainly don't want to get a skanky disease in a dressing room. The mirror was angled in three different ways so that you could get a good view of all sides, which is a good thing since so many women fail to look at their backside and don't realize the hideous nature of their appearance. So I put on the suit and am thinking it looks ok, when I looked in the mirror in front of me and caught a quick glimpse of some foreign ass in a teal suit right behind me. I gasped audibly, horrified that someone had entered my dressing room when I suddenly realized the shocking ass I was looking at was mine. I will never forget the horror I felt upon seeing an upclose view of my ass. Although it has always been flat and somewhat shapely, it was still vomitous to see it with my own eyes.

As we will be in Miami for 4 days/ 3 nights I anticipate having to get into a swimsuit. I just hope I don't make our new boys gag in horror at the sight of their new mom with the huge boobies and flat ass. Golly, I am a hot commodity. Watch out Gisele Budchen, my 40 something body is heading to South Beach.

We are not bringing the computer on our trip, so that we will not have any distractions with the new boys. Hence, we will have our phones with us, but will be out of touch with the cyber world until at least next Sunday. If you want, feel free to call us on our cell phones. We will only be out of reach while in transit to Miami and for about 12 hours on Thursday when we are into and out of Haiti. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers as we work on integrating Richnightder and Jerome into the family. We are thrilled to be heading out at very long last to bring our boys home forever.


Kopper said...

I love you and your cute tiny hiny! We are praying for you guys! Have a wonderful trip. Pack Darline in your suitcase and bring her home too.

Walsh Family said...

Can I get a WHUT WHUT for the boobies? And square hips? I don't about you, but I got the sqaure hips to boot! Remember when they used to tell you in high school that your boobs would stop growing one day? Lying assholes.

BethPie said...

The last thing you want to get on your way to Haiti is a skanky disease, so it was smart to keep the undies on!! ;o) {BTW, we have our own skin fungus thing going on here... Asa brought home ringworm and has generously shared it me me & Chloe.}

I can't wait to hear ALLLLLLL about the trip and see TONS of pictures! :o)

Brent and Lori said...

YEAH!!! Very excited for you! I can't wait for you to get them back home!

Hilarious about the swimsuit/backside view. "Objects in the mirror aren't what they appear", so something like that.

Best wishes and we'll be praying for you! Hope to see some pictures next week!!

AprilC said...

Hey....I know you are busy and stuff....but man I am dying to hear more!