Where my kids can just be kids

The excitement in our household is building as we get closer to our move.  We head out on our house hunting trip this week and will probably pack a month's worth of looking, investigating, searching, shopping, negotiating and eating into a few days. 

We have had two appraisals, a home inspection, a pest inspection and a septic tank inspection done on this house for the relocation company which will ultimately purchase our house from us.  So far everything is moving smoothly.  We've had two offers on our house, but we were unable to accept one offer since it was contingent upon the sale of their current home and the other people, well, let's just say they weren't living in the real world.  Their offer was a little low and they wanted us to pay their closing costs and give them all our mineral rights.  UM, that would be a huge NO!

Mineral rights are the hot topic these days in North Dakota.  As oil and gas exploration expands south and east of the Bakken, everyone who owns land and the mineral rights are reserving their rights due to the potential for huge income on those minerals.  I guess some people enjoy living in la la land with Tipsy and Po. 

The greater Minneapolis area has a glut of houses that fit our needs.  We are looking for a home on at least 10 acres, horse ready with a barn and a 4 bedroom house.  So far our realtor there has matched us with 136 house within a 40 mile radius of downtown Minneapolis.  From that list we have whittled it down but we really can't know if a house will 'feel' right until we can see the surrounding area and get a feel for the town.  We most certainly do not want to repeat our circumstances that have occurred here with small town/small minded bigots, so getting there and getting a feel for the neighborhood will be so important. 

The moving company is pushing us to lock in the specific date that we want them to show up and load us.  It's been hard to do since we aren't sure when we'll close on a new house in Minnesota or Wisconsin.  We know Marc must be at work there on December 19th so we are guessing the movers will be here around the 13th.  GULP!  They estimate 2 days to pack and 2 days to load.  Once there they are paid to unpack us...which they did not do last time and literally just dropped our stuff and left.  This time I'm not going to be a nice Nelly.  I'm gonna be wicked Nelly Olson from Little House on the Prairie!

I'm still not complaining.  Really I'm not.  I'm so damn happy to be getting out of here and leaving a community behind that resists new comers no matter how hard they work to adapt and blend with the old timers.  We look forward to blending into a big city again where my kids won't be stared at simply because of their skin color.  A diverse enough city where my kids can just be kids.  Not the black kids with the white parents.  Just simply kids.

Moving on up..to the East side....AKA, Minneapolis!

It was pointed out to me by Tina, that due to our impending move to the greater Minneapolis/St. Paul area, I would need to change the title of my blog.  YIPPEEE! 

I am utterly lacking in creativity.  Even though I am a Pisces, I still missed out on the creative aspects I was supposed to have been born with.  Nope, nada, zilch creative ideas originate in my noggin. So darlin' blogland readers, help me come up with a new title for my blog. 

We've hooked up with a realtor in Minneapolis and we are also looking at properties in the Hudson, Wisconsin area.  Funny thing though is that the property taxes are much higher than in the surrounding counties of Minneapolis with the exception of Hennepin County which are outrageous. So with that in mind, even though Marc will be working in Minneapolis we very well could be living in Minnesota or Wisconsin.  Toss out the ideas for a new blog title....Please...I need help here!

Whew, what a summer, but a GREAT fall is ahead

Well most of you know what transpired with our family and the hateful, bigoted racism that was directed to our family....and blatantly ignored by others....in this small backwards community, but out of that has come some true blessings.  Let me share some of the outstanding good fortune and blessings given by God that will benefit our family.

First of all, Marc's agency stepped up to the plate and intervened in hearing our pleas for help living in this community and worked diligently to transfer our family ASAP.  Well, the big kahuna's in the government not only got us a transfer to our city of choice, but also gave Marc a promotion!  In addition, they are relocating us in only 90 days.  Well, it's actually 83 days now since we've known for a week now, but who's counting?  We've already begun the process of listing the house, getting it show ready, and signing up with the relocation company.  If our house doesn't sell in 30 days then the relo company buys it and we leave this hideous state behind. 

It's funny how the cowardice of other people and their hateful words and actions caused us so much emotional pain at the time, but ultimately brought us to a better place.  A better place emotionally, financially and vastly more diverse so that my family will not be surrounded by ignorant, mean-spirited people. 

Marc informed the people he works with here in Bismarck and they are sad to see him leave, but understand the terrible hatred our family has been experiencing.  Someday soon, the people of this state will have to come to terms with people living in 'their' community of different races.  It's despicable for people to idly stand by and witness racism and fail to address it, condemn it and intervene.  Sadly, the vast majority of the people here have acknowledged that our family has been subjected to racism, yet are too weak of character to stand up and publicly declare it as an abhorrent behavior.  We've made excuses for years now for the people who privately tell us it's wrong what our children hear spoken to them, but will not stand with us in public in an effort to change it.  Weak people...cowards...come in all shapes, sizes, ages, religions, and occupations.  Maybe we're just unlucky but we have encountered bigots matching all these demographics. 

While we know racism is alive and kicking everywhere, our new location will definitely provide us with a metropolitan city where the population has actually lived somewhere else than the good 'ol family farm in rural North Dakota.  North Dakota is quickly being pushed out of it's cherished isolationism and will soon need to deal with real world problems.  We as a family are ecstatic beyond belief that we are moving and leaving this hate filled community behind.

As much as I hate painting, I must continue to touch up the white baseboards, dings in the walls and repaint the back door.  When I get so frustrated trying to keep the house spotless (what a joke with 4 kids) I simply remind myself that we have a deadline to be in place in our new state, the movers are coming to pack us up and we can blow a ginormous raspberry to the narrow-minded lifer's as we fly away to a new beginning.

Out of ashes and heartache came blessings for our family.  My faith in God is as strong as ever and we look forward to the future with great excitement and zeal.  To those who maligned us, thank you!  Your spiteful, cowardly natures have blessed us beyond belief.

Going private

I will be taking my blog off the grid soon.  If you would like to continue to follow, please email me or leave a comment and I will make sure you can continue to join me on this most unique adventure that our family is on. 

Welcome

In honor of all my new readers, I decided to change my outdated background.  I hope it adds an air of summer time joy!

The sting of losing a church

Marc and Madison returned Friday evening from a 10 day youth group trip from church.  The name of this trip and the ones taken in the previous years are called faith adventure trips.  This years trip jouryned to New York City where we believed the kids (14-18 year olds) would be involved in charity service work of one kind or another.  After a 3 day bus ride from North Dakota to NYC, the kids and chaperones disembarked at their 'hostel' which had 2 people per room, with one person on a roll-a-way bed and 2 bathrooms on each floor serving about 30 strangers.  GAG!

It quickly became obvious that out of the 6 days spent in NYC, only 3 days had any type of service work involved.  Marc figured that including travel time on the subways to reach the soup kitchens, the total amount of time spent in service to others was a mere 5 hours!  Now in my world, 5 hours does not constitute substantial community giving.  Let along having to travel by bus for 30 hours in each direction to participate in 5 hours of charitable giving.  I know first hand that there are several places right here in Bismarck where these kids could put some sweat into serving others!

Lots of things are bothering us about this so called Faith Adventure.  First of all, when asked why the prefered method of transportation was by bus, the pastor informed Marc that it was not only cheaper, but allowed for team building exercises to take place in transit...to solidfy the group.  COUGH, I call BS on this one.  Seems there was actually NO team building exercises that occured in transit at all.  Another little thing that annoys me is that while yes, they were in NYC, the over-whelming vast majority of the time was spent sight-seeing.  While I do agree that the kids from our church have led narrow lives, with few having traveled anywhere in the USA before and most having never flown on a plane...sad but true....the pastor also wanted to expose these kids to cultural differences.  God knows these kids need that.  Most of the local kids still look at my kids and call them wooly because of their hair, and ask stupid questions about their skin.  At worst, these kids have called my kids the N word and spoken freely at the parsonage about shooting "coons."  They've told racist jokes to my kids on previous church outings and joked about how my kids shouldn't be able to swim, but could sure shoot hoops.  We've tolerated and tried valiantly to educate the local kids to no avail.  Some are quiet in their bigotry and some are blatant, neither of which feels good.

So on this journey, Marc got to witness first hand how the girls bullied Madison.  Madison simply aint no shrinkin' violet, for damn sure, but even she can only take so much.  Marc watched the girls make fun of her curly hair, listened to them as they told her that the roommate would take the bed and Madison would have to deal with the roll-a-way, and watched as the girls ostracized Madison at Times Square and told her that they would be going off sight-seeing without her.  Marc was a good Dad and picked up the slack when all she wanted was to be accepted by narrow-minded, frightened girls.  That night at devotions with the group, Marc was asked where he had seen the face of God.  He replied, "I know where I DIDN'T see the face of God, and that was in the young girls who have mocked and shunned Madison to the point of tears."  One of the girls to whom Marc was referring had a Mom along as a chaperone who instead of acknowledging this issue chose to give both Marc and Madison the cold shoulder for the remainder of the trip and refused to speak to them. 

Marc brought this issue up to our pastor who shocked the hell out of us by telling Marc that this is normal girl behavior and he would not comment or talk to the girls since he hadn't seen it himself.  He had been told by several people about the bullying, but chose to ignore it and not address it because I believe he(the pastor) too, is a chicken to stand up to the majority to take the cause of the minority.  Marc called me from New York to share what our pastor had said, or failed to say, and we both feel that since this is a church trip, not a secular school trip and we both expect these kids from church to behave in a Christian manner.  If this is a faith adventure then these kids better step up and bring a Christ like behavior with them, or stay at home.

We are sick feeling about this.  To think that our pastor can call this behavior 'Normal girl behavior' is sickening.  Since when do we as a church body, lower our standards and condone mean, ignorant behavior?  Madison and Thomas experienced bullying in the private Christian school they were in for 3 years and then again in public school.  Now as homeschoolers it's odd that my kids are experiencing the most egregious behavior from the people that compose their church family. 

Madison came home with a new appreciation of how 'average' young teen girls treat each other.  I am glad she is a strong, Strong young girl who can move beyond the slights and insults tossed her way, but it still leaves an invisible scar deep within.  Marc and I have tried our best to live our values and morals as an example to our kids.  We expect them to respect everyone.  They may not like someone, but we still expect them to be civil.  How is that our pastor can turn away, shirk his duty to teach and instill Christ like values to those in his charge when he knows this behavior is occuring?  To avoid it with the casual thought that this is normal is to perpetuate its cruelty. 

I am mad.  I am sad and I feel lost in my spiritual journey.  I refuse to let one man who happens to wear a collar, destroy my faith in God, but he has destroyed my faith in him and his ability to take a moral stand and correct those who are behaving in a despicable very un-Christ like manner.  It's not often that Marc expresses his sadness and vunerability, but when it comes to our kids, that is our weak spot.  How can we return to this church knowing our pastor, our shephard of our flock, perceives and condones this behavior as normal and acceptable?  This is where we are right now.  It's not a good place and it stings. 

hardball

In my last post, I wrote about how this ding bat lady wanted us to help her by reducing the price of our property so it was more comfortable for them to meet their payments.  Well, against all odds, after that discussion with her, we raised our price again and got yet another bite on our property.

I emailed the first gal back and told her about the new interest and believe it or not, they have agreed to our asking price.  I guess her comfort level could be expanded after all without my help!

We've never played hardball before and never intended too, but we too see this property sale as a chance to help fund our trip to Haiti to search for Richnigthder's family.  We also intend on helping our friends, the Watkins family who are moving to Haiti to run the orphanage for the children who are not legally free for adoption, but who are still abandoned and in need of Watkins love!  You can follow their adventure here http://www.mountainstomountains.blogspot.com/

Anyhow, I feel badly for the other people who were ready to plop down money on our property, but this gal is ready to go, pre-approved and wants to do the earnest money tomorrow.  We've never been lucky in selling property.  Heck when the government moved us here in 2003 we barely broke even on our house in Oregon.  Then the last house we sold, we actually had to bring a check to closing to pay the difference.  Seriously, who ever has to bring money to the closing when you are the SELLER?! 

My hope is that this nest egg will do some good for our kids and the kids who have no one in this world.  What the Watkins family is doing is following Christ's example of love to the letter.  They are in the place in their life when they are able to go and do what very few others can even contemplate. 

Sometimes, ding bats aren't as dingy as they appear, and by us digging our heels in, we may be able to have some fun and continue to help the country where are hearts are always tugged, Haiti!