Richnigthder and Jerome have been home 2 weeks short of a year already. Amazing how quickly their time home has gone compared to the agonizingly long days we endured during their adoption process. I can honestly say that we have not had any major issues to deal with. Neither have attachment issues, which really is a flippin' miracle, and we have handled with relative ease their behavioral challenges thrown at us.
Both boys have slept well since the first days home. At first we sat with them on our laps until they fell asleep and then moved them into their beds. Then we progressed to putting them into bed and sitting in their room until they were asleep. Now, they are just like any 'ol kid. We tell them it's bedtime and they get ready for bed and yell to us when they are ready to be tucked in. Painless, effortless, easy-peasy! But you knew it was coming....there's always a catch.
For the last week, Richnigthder has been coming into our room and waking us to tell us that he is unable to sleep. We asked if he had a nightmare, a tummy-ache, or felt ill, to which he informed us no, he was just unable to sleep. Great, an insominiac at the age of 7. Just what every house needs. Finally last night as I was tucking him in and whispering Domi bien in his ear, he told me what had been causing his wakefulness. Seems he was not having nightmares, but quite the opposite. He was having very vivid and happy dreams of his first 3 years of life with his birth parents.
We talk about his birth parents everyday as he truly adored them and they loved him beyond measure. Needless to say, this makes me love Camesuze and Jean even more since I know how much they treasured their oldest child, now my son. Ricnightder has always talked about things he remembers during his first 3 years of life with them in the village in Jeremie. He was born in Abricots. Literally it is the end of the road in the province of Jeremie. From googling it I can see how beautiful it is there. But now, his stories and dreams seem real to even me.
He has been remembering and dreaming about being a little boy at home with his first mom and dad. He tells of the small house (shack) that he called home. It had 4 walls of stone and a peice of cloth for a door. They had one small bed against the wall of the one room-abode and all 3 of them slept together. He has informed me it was not a bed like we know, but rather a peice of leaves sewn together and placed on the dirt floor. He talks about how he remembers living so close to the water that crabs would crawl into his house and his mom would pick them up and then they would carry them back to the water. He remembers his dad working in a garden and playing along side him as he worked. He remembers wearing his dad's baseball cap and feeling like his dad's big helper. He remembers Camesuze rocking him to sleep and sleeping curled up next to her. He remembers Jean cutting open a warm coconut and giving it to him to drink and eat (which he still loves...yuck). He remembers playing with his cousin Gualege and Deve just outside his house in Abricots.
This child has been dreaming so vividly that he told me when he woke up he smelled Camesuze and felt her face against his. He could not go back to sleep. What worried me about these beautiful, treasured dreams/memories is the fact that I still do not know if Camesuze, Jean and their baby girl, Sylove are alive. What if they have died in the earthquake and he is sensing their presence? How do i explain this to my baby boy?? I can't go there yet.
When they brought Richnightder to the creche, it was a L.O.N.G. journey by any imagination. He remembers this also and recalls the moment he realized they were going home without him and he was to stay. He told me he was brave and did not cry because Jean was crying and he wanted to be a big boy.....at 3 years of age! I believe Jean and Camesuze relocated to Port-au-Prince at this point as they were also available to adoption court appearances and to visit Richnightder at the creche. I continue to hope and pray that these remarkable people survived the earthquake and are safely together.
Is it possible Richnightder is sensing their spirits with them, or is just so intune to them thru love and heartstrings that he is forever connected? I believe in both, but so hope that Camesuze and Jean are alive and well and that their love for Richnightder is transcending time and space to reach him. Either way, he is having sweet dreams, so realistic that he is unable to sleep. I am beginning to realize the only way to get him to sleep...beside mommy's little helper of Benadryl...will be to head to Haiti someday in the near future and actively search for these people and let richnightder see that they are fine and all is well in our world.
There are scars, still. Even within the miracles.
2 months ago