I know Thomas enjoyed watching me eat his popcorn

I have been grazing all day long. I'm very pre-menstrual and extremely crabby. I have found myself sticking my hand in whatever chip, candy, cookie, popcorn bag is open and lying around.

We got home from swimming a while ago and as is usual for Thomas he popped a bag of popcorn in the microwave. A few minutes ago I saw this same, half-eaten bag sitting on the fireplace hearth and picked it up, shoved my hand in and started shoveling. After several handfuls I noticed a hair in my mouth. I retrieved it from it's lodged position on the back of my tongue and continued to eat. Once again, I discovered another hair in my mouth.

I'm a slow learner....obviously. At this point I looked into the bag and noticed that all around the opening of the bag there was a coating of long, multi-colored hair. As I stared in confusion, I realized that the our long haired Maine Coon cat, April, was sitting in front of the fireplace licking her paws and her face. I called for Thomas to come to me and when he got to me, I inquired as to the half-eaten bag of popcorn he left on the fireplace. He told me that he put it down and April had stuck her head in and started eating the popcorn so he just left it there and walked away. I explained that I had been chowing down on it for several minutes and had hairs in my mouth which just made him laugh and shout, "Gross Mom. Do you know she licks her butt?"

Yes I could vomit and I have brushed my teeth and gargled. I still feel dirty, and Thomas is still laughing.