When I started this blog in 2008, I originally intended to vent about the frustrations involved with our adoption of the two little boys from Haiti. It was my sounding board to express my grief, frustration and ultimate joy in the adoption process. It served as a venue to meet new friends and to commiserate with people who were stuck in the same boat.
Over time, it has morphed into a blog about the oddities in my life. I've addressed issues dealing with raising four black kids in rural 'white' North Dakota. I've belly-ached and celebrated the joys of home educating the kids. I've shared all the weirdness that is MY life.
The last 6 weeks I've done nothing but complain about my MCL knee injury. Not that I'm counting, but it's been exactly 6 weeks today. The first 4 weeks were relatively easy, physically and mentally. All I did was sit around on the couch with my leg locked in the straight position and was not allowed any weight bearing. Week 4 they began to allow me to use my leg and put about 50% of my weight on the leg. Last week they knocked me down to one crutch and almost 100% weight. It took me until Saturday or Sunday to really begin walking on using a normal gait and to make an effort to not lean on the one crutch. I went to today's therapy with trepidation.
I knew the expectation was to be sufficiently strong enough to throw away the remaining crutch and walk unaided. What a load of horse poop! While I am happy my MCL seems to be scarring and tightening up nicely, per the PT, I had to emphatically stress that I know my limitations and my knee is not strong enough to stand on alone. I demonstrated how I'm having to physically force my leg into a straight position when standing as it has a tendency to flex forward. That is now causing pain in my hamstrings. Oh friggin' joy! Nonetheless, we forged ahead and did some 'Old lady' exercises in the hallway which provided some entertainment for the old farts in the therapy center. At one point the PT assistant had me standing facing the wall in the hallway taking itty-bitty side steps which hurt like a totally dirty MOFO! Then to complete the humiliation she had me use my one crutch, lift my right leg up to my waist and then place it down in front and then hold my left leg up like a flippin' stork. I think it was about right now, that I may have shouted the f-bomb as I felt my leg burn like hell and feel really weak.
I'm not sure if the old farts around me heard my expletive or not as they were in various states of their own personal torture, but screaming that word, did seem to impart that I was adamant about my knee's limitation. My personal torture session ended fairly quickly and I left with instructions to continue exercises on my quads and to 'wean myself off my crutch.' Oh yeah, right! I might as well just spend the day walking like Igor in Young Frankenstein.
So my goal now for next week is to be able to walk without a crutch at all. Quite honestly, that scares the hell out of me. I guess I'll feel more confident and comfortable doing that as I stretch my abilities and find success in some accomplishments.
I never intended this blog to be all about me....well, at least not all about me with an injury....but this is the state of my life right now. So as my life has evolved, changed and tossed me unexpected challenges, I guess I'll continue to share the unusual happenings of my world. Now, if I can just get back to normal chaos someday soon, I'll be extremely happy....most of the time.
There are scars, still. Even within the miracles.
4 months ago