I find it almost impossible to believe that Richnigthder and Jerome have been home from Haiti for 19 months now. It seems like just yesterday we were hopping on the plane to head to Port-au-Prince as a family of 4, only to return to the USA with the two littlest ones making us a complete family of 6.
Last week Marc and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. The kids made cards for us and all of them will be keepsakes forever. Madison's card for us was written in French and she drew a picture of Marc and me holding hands. Luckily, Madison is grandly delusional and drew me as thin and willowy. I haven't been thin and wispy since she was born, so bless her heart for drawing me in a flattering light. Jerome drew a VERY interesting picture of us. Once again its of Marc and me together. Marc's torso is a square and saddly the picture shows that Marc must be suffering from Elephantitis of his right leg as it is massively swollen compared to his toothpick left leg. Also, Marc's mouth is wide open and he appears to be yelling. Hmmm? But its the picture of me that is REALLY interesting.
As Jerome drew me, he must have been picturing how he came into this world. Since he has a most horrible birth story the first 4 years of his life, he must be searching to add pieces to his story. You see, he drew a picture of a VERY PREGNANT me. I asked him who I was pregnant with and he answered that he was in my tummy. The thought and sentiment are remarkably sweet, but the picture was most unflattering. Not only did he draw a picture of me looking like an elephant in the 24th month of gestation, but he clothed me in a stripped moo-moo. Trust me, even in pictures, stripes just don't work for me. But oh how I love my sweet, easy-going Jerome.
Richnigthder and Thomas continue to have alpha dog battles daily. Those two can fight over anything. They are now fighting over who smells more like manure and they enlisted me to give the deciding vote. Once again, Thomas earns the privilege of being the smelliest boy in the house, an honor he takes seriously.
Madison has ridden outside everyday this week, even in the single digit temps and falling snow. She takes her dressage riding very seriously and I love her determination. Now if she would only spend a few minutes cleaning her hell hole of a bathroom, we would all be happy. It's so gross even the boys won't use it. 'Nough said!
The kids are getting older at an alarming rate and while 99% of the time this makes me ecstatic, sometimes it makes me sad to realize how fast time has flown by. Madison is approaching 14 and it honestly feels like it was just yesterday that we stood alongside Angela in the delivery room watching Madison make her enterance into this world. When Marc cut the cord and I held her for the first time, I couldn't imagine how fast time would fly. She was only 15 months old when Thomas came home and she seemed so grown up and such a big helper to me then. She's still a big helper, just with a big teenaged mouth attached. Thomas has grown to be an extremely handsome young man with a most gently and kind heart. School work remains a struggle for him and me, but I know homeschool is where he needs to be to continue to thrive. Richnigthder and Jerome are physically and emotionally growing before my eyes. I still feel cheated that I misssed out on so much of their lives. 19 months have rocketed by and I am frightened at how quickly the day is approaching when they will all strike out on their own paths in life and I will be able to sleep in, have a margarita with lunch and read a book til my eyes bleed. I picture a day like that when I am struggling to tread water and wonder if, when they are all grown, I will ever be able to relax without all my chicks at home in the nest? Of course, 4 kids in college will be a source of anxiety for me, not just financially, but always questioning if they are alright and doing the right thing. Guess until then, I'll continue to slog through the days and day dream about the all too quickly approaching days of empty nesting.
There are scars, still. Even within the miracles.
4 months ago