Why can't my house be plumbed with laughing gas?

Two out of the four kids are crabby.  I'm crabby too and since I'm home with them all day long, maybe I'm rubbing off on them, or vice versa.  Who knows.  As usual, Jerome is his usual, happy self.

Today Jerome had to go and have a baby tooth pulled since it refused even my intensive efforts to remove it 'naturally' and the permanent tooth was half way in behind it.  While they had his mouth open they decided to fill two small cavities he's had since coming home.  I was a LOT concerned about home Jerome would handle the 'gwo piki' which is 'big needle' in Creole.  He's not a stoic little guy when it comes to blood, needles or any kind of pain.  How he survived 4 or 5 years of his life in an orphanage is beyond comprehension given his kind, sensitive nature. 

Before I blather on about his teeth, last week he went for a cleaning and the dentist did confirm that based on his teeth he does appear to be at least a year to year and a half behind what his birth certificate says.  Our orphanage had to randomly make up a birthdate and birth year when they found him at about 2 years of age so instead of Jerome turning 9 next month as his birth certificate states, we tell everyone he's turning 8.  I guess it would be closer to tell everyone he's just a good solid 7 year old give or take a couple months.  Confused, yeah, him too.

The peds dentist also confirmed that he has Hutchinson teeth.  If you don't know what that means, lucky you.  Hutchinson teeth is what develops in a fetus when the birth mother has Syphilis.  That particular venereal disease affects a developing fetus in lots of ways, but the most visible are the teeth.  Fortunately Jerome doesn't have any heart, brain or bone diseases, he just has the yucky teeth.  Once he gets all his permanent teeth, we'll probably have to have some significant dental work which would include crowns, veneers, implants and braces.  Oh golly, good times ahead!

Since the moment we read Jerome's bio in 2007 we knew he had been found by our creche with active Syphilis and it didn't deter us from loving his sweet little soul.  He was treated with 30 days of antibiotics and the Syphilis was cured.  However we always wondered if he had contracted the disease in utero from his birthmom or if he had been molested by some sick bastard.  That thought always left us feeling violently disgusted and murderous so it came as a great relief to find out that he had congenital syphilis. 

We wonder if his birthmom even knew she had Syphilis.  It's a funny disease.  After the initial exposure and sore goes away, the person remains asymptomatic for years and years.  It's likely she'll live for sometime before the disease that's been lying dormant rears its ugly head and begins to shrink her life span. 

But boy oh boy, did I go way off track here.  All I know is that if I had the house plumbed with laughing gas, I would be one happy momma and have 4 happy kids.  When they hooked Jerome up to the Nitrous Oxide, he must have felt like he was floating because I kept having to push his legs down.  It was so weird.  He just kind of bent in half from his hips and kept his  feet pointing at the ceiling.  He also looked a little like Stevie Wonder with the head bob thing going on while watching the Disney Channel.  I really didn't care since he was dealing with it so well.

I bet if I went into the custom home building business and plumbed each house with laughing gas, I'd be the wealthiest person on earth.  Seriously, who wouldn't want their household of kids...especially teenagers...in a state of perpetual happiness and mellowness?  I must be the smartest person alive!

I'd like to take the credit, but I can't

Madison is smart.  Darn-tootin' smart!  She is enrolled in 10th grade at the age of 14 and is doing well.  She is using the University of Nebraska's online high school curriculum and I like it since it will provide her with a high school transcript from an institution and she is held accountable for all of her work.  She takes tests thru a proctor here to ensure no cheating and must be self-motivated and diligent in her work. 

I would like to take credit for her innate smarts, but I can't.  In that area I must acknowledge that she gets her ample brain from her birth parents, Angela and Darryl.  Now each of them will argue that her smarts came from them, but either way, she's a smart cookie.  However, I digress.

All this means she'll graduate a year early.  While we have a plan for her gap year which includes traveling abroad and visiting friends in New Zealand, it really brings to light that the kid will be heading to college sooner than later.  HOW IN THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?  I've been looking at colleges on line and almost made a rosebud in my panties.  Hello?  The tuition's are hideous. 

Madison has always told me she wants to go Ivy League.  Harvard to be specific.  I honestly don't know if that will play out, but I've learned in regards to my children to never say never.  If she can get admitted, i suppose we'd do everything in our power to get her there.  She would like to be a veterinarian in addition to a Gran Prix dressage/ jumper equestrian.  Add all those words together and it equals........2 bazilliion, gazaillion, majillion dollars.

For all the days I've belly ached about my kids and homeschooling and my expanding waist line...or lack of a distinguishable one anymore...I'd reverse time and go backwards if I could.  Now I've got a kid who's actually earning high school credit (after skipping 9th grade altogether) and is beginning to look at colleges.  Whoever said that brilliant nugget of wisdom about having little kids=little problems and big kids=big problems....was a flippin' genius.  Thinking of my kid leaving home gets me giddy, and yet leaves me sick to think about her leaving the nest.  I also throw up in my mouth a little thinking about trying to pay for college for her, and the damn horse she wants to haul with her. 

How in the hell did I get to be old enough to have a kid old enough to be a sophomore, let alone the mother of a kid surfing the web for universities?  Dear God, I don't think I could wear one of those dippy shirts that says "Proud mom of a fill-in-the-blank college student!"  Hell, I still picture myself wearing my sorority sweatshirt, passing on food and choosing 'liquid' nourishment, and trying desperately to not get caught doing the walk of shame.  No, this can't be happening.  I refuse to be old enough to have a daughter in high school.  This is wrong.....all wrong.