I've decided to be unrealistic and demanding this Christmas

This year I want Santa to bring me a Mercedes in black, with a big red bow on the top. I would also like a week away, ALONE, preferably in the Cayman Islands. I would like to do nothing but lie on a beach with a beautiful cabana boy catering to my whims and bringing me an endless river of intoxicating beverages. I want sunny skies and absolutely no one to try and make friendly chit-chat. I want to bring some books and read them until I fall asleep without interruptions.

A few years back, Marc learned a valuable lesson in gift giving......never buy the cheapest thing at Tiffany and Co. Since then he has been a champ in choosing lovely little bobbles that fit my fingers and earlobes. This year, since I have my family complete and all under one roof, I want to be totally unrealistic and unreasonable, so Santa, listen up and bring me that beautiful black Mercedes!! BUT, in the event that you are unable to wrap that up, then please refer back to the Tiffany website and get me the earrings I already bookmarked. They would look outstanding on my ears with my new haircut. HINT HINT HINT HINT HINT xoxoxoxoxo

The tree is up, the ground is white and the picture is taken!!

Carlos, hiding in the dryer. Richnigthder with gucci, Jerome with Carlos, Madison
Pebbles and Thomas with Kitty and Bunny

We have the tree upright, in the stand and Marc is actively working on getting the lights on in a way that looks attractive and not just thrown on in a helter-skelter fashion. The new puppies, Bunny and Kitty are doing their best to tear it down by eating the lower branches and actually dragging the 9 foot tree and stand across the room. Sweet little puppies ;-)!

Madison spent 3 hours in the emergency room last Friday for a snowboarding accident that occured right here in our front yard. I was inside on the phone getting some juicy gossip on a gal that is notouriosly nasty, when Madison came bursting thru the front door screaming her shoulder was hurt. I made all the typical hand gestures and finger snapping to let her know I was on the phone and to be quiet, yet her crying persisited. I got off the phone and realized her arm did seem to genuinely hurt, so off we went to the hospital, with Richnigthder and Jerome in tow.

Poor kid actually did dislocate her shoulder and break her collarbone, so I'm glad i got off the phone and took her in when I did. Yes, you may wonder how could she fall and hurt herself on our little tiny slope in the front yard.............Welllllll, seems she sprayed non-stick cooking spray on the bottom of the snowboard and whoosh, she was off, literally!

Today we did Christmas pictures with the 4 kids and 5 dogs. It was snowing lightly and the wind was just starting to pick up, so I think it turned out ok for a home photo. One or two of the pictures seem acceptable given that it was painful to get the kids and dogs to sit and face the camera at the same time.

Our anniversary

Hard to believe that Marc and I will celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary tomorrow, Nov. 24th. There are many days I don't even feel 19 years old, let alone mature enough to have weathered 19 years of bliss...(cough).

Actually i am pretty damn lucky. I married my very best friend. He tolerates my moods, bouts of tears over the kids and homeschooling dilemmas. He holds my physical and emotional hand and my life would be desolate without him. He works hard to keep us in the lap of luxury and carefully balances work with home life. This isn't always easy when he has me for a wife and 4 kids that call and bug him at work...sometimes at inopportune moments....like when he has a machine gun in his hand and is about to run thru a drug dealers door. I could go on and on and on about how much I love him and appreciate him, but my damn pesty kids are screaming and fighting and I need to break it up and call Marc for moral support!!

So gross I hesitate to post about it

I have 3 rambunctious boys and one lovely, but moody daughter. My boys are typical boys; climbing things just to jump from it, damaging household items and covered in scars and scabs from numerous, albeit, superficial injuries. Yesterday however, while Madison was outside riding the horse, I noticed the deadly sound of silence from all 3 boys.

What I discovered was totally gross and only something boys would think of, let alone try to accomplish. The boys had gotten my largest stock pot from the kitchen, taken it to Thomas' room and attempted to capture, how should I say, a moment, a fragrance, a thought. I found Richnigthder sitting (fully clothed I should mention) on the stock pot.......farting. When I screamed in horror at the sight and sound "What in the hell are you doing?" Thomas replied that they were trying to fart the pot and get the lid on quickly enought to capture the odor and then run it to Madison's room where they would release the aroma. I have just one question. Where do boys come up with these vulgar and vomitous ideas???


P.S. I refuse to use the stock pot again. Perhaps I can put it into use as a dog water bowl, but it will not ever contain food for human comsumption again. End of story!

This mother needs help

• I don't know what else I can say. You need to read this blog and spread the word. http://watchingthewaters.wordpress.com/2009/10/06/family-needed/

The karma of life is knocking on my door

Literally 20 minutes ago I was reading this blog http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/ and was thoroughly enjoying reading about this family's seemingly bad luck everytime the husband travels out of the country. Things break, toilets get plugged, kids get sick, etc, when as I am laughing out loud, I hear wretching......as in hurling.....coming from the bathroom. Yes, the gods in charge of karma thought it was pay back for enjoying someone else's misery just a little too much.

Thomas is barfing, the dog has cancer and is on chemo, and i have yet another honking big zit on my chin. What in the hell is happening??? Do we live in the damned Bermuda Triangle?? If we do, I wish the aliens would take me away, because I could use a vacation sans kids and a stylish tin foil hat. Oh, and our credit card company called Sunday night to inform (question) some recent activity on our card in FRANCE. Seems our card is having a little vacation in France without us, and paused long enough to need, of all things, gas, tires and car parts. Trust me, if I was in France, buying car parts or tires would be the last thing I would be buying. Besides those would make lousy souvenirs and they are damn tough to pack and get thru security at the airport.

I guess I should stop laughing at others' bad luck even when it is funny as hell, because it always comes back and bites me in the ass. Note to self: suppress all laughter and giggles forever. I can't afford humor anymore. ;-)

Give a Haitian kid a fly swatter and..............

Jerome is the happiest kid ever. He smiles most of the day and is just generally happy. He randomly, without prompting, will hug and kiss me and tell me he loves me. Even when this kid is in trouble and is understandably angry, he puts his hands on his hips, purses his lips and lets out a little sigh. That's it. No yelling, stomping of feet, slamming of doors...nothing.

Yesterday I gave him the task of smashing flies or moosh, in Creole. He took this job with a smile and a determination to rid our house of the Amityville Horror look. He stayed focused on his job for a good hour at least, as I completely forgot I had told him to do it. Hey, I was just happy that all 4 kids were doing something, anything, that didn't cause a fight with anyone else.

I went to my bedroom later in the afternoon to fold some laundry and noticed a pillow shoved into one of the celestory windows above our bed. Hmmm, I thought. Odd place for a pillow. I climbed up on the bed and took the pillow down and what did I find but a smashed pane of glass. I beckoned...well, maybe yelled...for all 4 kids to come to my room. I had them all sit down and gaze at the broken window.

I proceeded with my interrogation of each kid adding that unless someone fessed up, everyone would be staying in their rooms. Jerome briefly accused Richnigthder who looked like he was going to KILL him, but quickly admitted his guilt. Seems he was moosh swatting and obviously got a little excited and smashed the hell out of the window. It only broke the inside pane, but with our cold weather approaching, we have no time to waste in getting this suprisingly expensive window replaced. Oh, and the shards of glass were scattered across our bed. I suppose it was good thing I realized that before we fell into bed.